View this email in your browser
Good morning gorgeous, it's time for our weekly catchup. It's so lovely to see you so early this concerningly warm October morning.

I spoke on a panel the other week, and a woman in the audience sheepishly put up her hand:

"How do you have so much confidence?"

It took everything in me not to laugh out loud. The answer, honestly, is, I don't. Not really. I have something to say and I believe I'm worthy of the space to say it. If you do the scary things enough, you get comfortable enough with the fear to ignore it. You appear confident. 

Blinding confidence comes from arrogance or narcissism, and it's not hot. People who don't get nervous don't care enough (and they're about to mansplain you some bullshit).

Real, authentic confidence comes from a deeply rooted belief that you are worthy. That you can take up space. That your voice matters. That you've done the hard work, and earned it. It takes practice— it doesn't happen overnight. It's a muscle, and it won't grow unless you work it, honey. So take a deep breath, and perform it until it becomes real.

When you get a bit scared, just remember that people with loud, uninformed, confident voices are shouting trash and doing real harm. We need to counterbalance them.

You deserve to take up some space. We need your voice. Get in the game.
When we are crushed like grapes we don’t know we are becoming wine.
- Henri Nouwen
We need to talk about playing the victim

It happened. On Saturday we found out Brett Kavanaugh, the sloppy boat shoe you’re avoiding at the Sigma Chi luau, has been confirmed to the Supreme Court. Trump mocked Dr. Ford at a rally, and said it’s a “really scary time for young men in America”. Human popped collar Donald Trump Jr. said he worries more for his sons than his daughters.

Wait, what? A woman tells you her credible, gut-wrenching story of childhood sexual assault and you’re... worried about the bros? *breaks antique teacup*

It seems that a lot of dudes are scared of being falsely accused of sexual assault. I get it, there is a lot of hand-wringing in the media about false accusations. Susan Collins, the fucking Susan Collins of the Senate thinks Brett was innocent. This anti-feminist mom started #himtoo about her son, and it spawned a thousand hilarious memes.

Here’s a cheat sheet script for the men in your life who may be feeling scared:

Oh hey, Tyler! Dope polo. You look a bit freaked out, we should chat about it. Are you worried a woman will accuse you of sexual assault when you're innocent?

Nah T, you should be more scared to be accused of murder. You’re legit more likely to be falsely accused of murder than sexual assault. Seriously, my dude, 
15x more likely. One in four women is sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Only 8-10% of those victims report their abuse. Men mostly get away with actually assaulting women, which is awful. False accusations are incredibly rare.

So why are all of these Republican senators and nominees freaking out?

They’re not. Well maybe they are— they seem like the kinda dudes who did some shit. But mostly, they want to make people scared, because scared people vote for them. Trump has helped white young men feel victimized for years. It’s his thing. The immigrants are taking your jobs, ban them. Trans people will assault you in the bathroom, take away their rights. The women called out your sexism, defeat them. PC culture is ruining your privileged frat-tastic fun, vote for us. None of it is based in reality, but playing the victim is a real tactic. It's how white supremacists recruit

What can we do about it? Talk to the men in your life. Find out if they're scared and talk to them about who the real victims are. Oh, and American friends, register to vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote, vote. 
We need to talk about going to the right to the right, every province is shifting to the right

Last week Quebec elected a new provincial government, the very conservative CAQ or Coalition Avenir Québec's. The new leader is François Legault, an old rich guy straight out of central casting who is survey saays! pretty shitty. Legault wants to slash immigration and threaten to throw out immigrants who fail to learn French. Familiar story, bro.

Legault has brought back an old racist trope— the religious symbols ban. Legault’s ban would prevent government officials, including judges, teachers, and civil servants from wearing religious symbols like the hijab. Remember when Harper tried that back in 2015? Canada said nope. Don’t call it a comeback. 

Legault is considering using the Notwithstanding Clause to bypass the Charter of Rights and Freedoms (which protects religious freedom). This is the same clause Ford wanted to invoke to slash Toronto’s city council. Ford is 'really excited' to meet Legault. I sense a gross bromance brewing.

Thousands of people protested the ban in Montreal this weekend. Trudeau said he's not for it. This dog whistle racist policy has got to go.
Something to watch
Light a pumpkin spice candle, make an adult blanket fort and peep these feminist horror films.

Something that’s the #truth
Christopher Columbus thought the earth had a nipple. Let’s celebrate by remembering that he was a murderous moron.

Something that finally happened
Taylor Swift GOT IN THE GAME. And it worked.

Something to read
The late Michelle McNamara’s heart-wrenching book, I'll Be Gone In The Dark, chronicles her search for the Golden State Killer. It will take hold of you and won’t let go.

Something to get you through
The best thing about your life is that it is constantly in a state of design. This means you have at all times the power to redesign it. Make moves. Allow shifts. Smile more. Do more. Do less. Say no. Say yes— just remember, when it comes to your life you're not just the artist but the masterpiece as well.
- Cleo Wade.

P.s You made it to the end! That's dope! If you liked it, I recommend joining our #wnttambassador fam and get cool stuff for bringing friends on board. Or love tweet, tweeting is cool too <3
Copyright © 2018 We Need To Talk About This, All rights reserved.

Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.