My cell phone rang five minutes before a planned group call. Do I answer or let it go to voice mail? I thought and let it ring a second time. Then, without being aware of making a choice, I answered.
I hardly recognized the voice on the line.
"Breath", I said. "Slow down."
Again, words I could not understand.
"Tell me again."
And then with some degree of clarity I heard, "Keith is dead!"
My daughter is on the phone telling me about her husband, my son-in-law. Even as I write this the feelings of that moment sweep over me.
"What?", I ask.
"Keith is dead!"
And she broke down in tears and sobs.
"I'll be there" I said.
I had a scheduled a call with Keith every other Thursday. Today was to have been our call. I usually text him to confirm and today's text had gone unanswered. Must be busy I had concluded. We'll catch up next week.
Now I knew there would not be a "next week" call.
I first met Keith when he was a computer programer living in the Northern California Silicon Valley. Keith found me during one of my workshops into the Bay Area. He loved the world of the unseen, the power of energy healing and the concepts about the Spiritual worlds.
He was a master in his career as a programmer. He had memories early in his life, eons ago memories of changing physical situations with a thought. He had often talked of that ability and wondered how he had lost the "gift". Once he and my daughter had resettled in the Pacific Northwest, he and I began serious mentoring and re-connecting with his Spiritual Gift was the focus of our calls.
Disbelief, sorrow, and questions wafted through my mind during the drive to Jen's home. She met me at the door and because the coroner had not arrived, sheriff deputies stood at the doors to the kitchen where Keith had died.
The activities of the next few days were all about supporting Jen as the routine considerations around the death of a loved one took precedent.
I could stay focused on my belief that "we" do not die and while true, it misses the fact that when a lived ones steps out of the body, everything changes. The collective boat that has weathered life journey is now thrust into the rapids and one paddle is missing. There is no way that denying that loss is helpful.
Like every bend along life's road, we do well to find a bench, grab a journal and sit awhile to ponder, evaluate, and appreciate before we chart the next phase with conscious choices.
And so I contemplated. What had I missed? Had Keith spoken a word about not feeling well, asked for help in any way? No.
Had there been a glimmer in this voice or presence or in my message system that warned of some sudden danger or death? No.
Keith had had high blood pressure for all the years that I had known him. His autopsy showed 2 arteries 75-95% blocked and the third about 60% blocked. A blood clot moved through the circulatory system and the blockages stopped the clot and the heart.
When I teach energy work, whether with clients or students, I emphasize the value of an integrated protocol. Such a healing program includes professionals and techniques for change in every body, Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual. Spiritual processes do not eliminate the support that Western medicine might bring nor does Western medicine remove the need for Spiritual processes. Creating an inclusive program for life changes creates wellness in the entire life force of the individual. Do not use Spiritual, metaphysical, energy concepts at the exclusion of medical protocol. Conversely, if you choose Western medicine as your primary approach include other processes they complement and enhance your goal of wellness.
There are instances when an individual has intended to leave the body and so there is not Spiritual voices warning that a problem exists. Such was the case with Keith.
Knowing that he had intended to leave life early, that "he" is not dead is all truths that informed us. AND, at end of the day, we had to face "what is". Keith had left his body and is making choices in that next home.
We who will miss this large, loving man, will make our choices. We will learn to steady the boat for Jennifer, encourage her as she learns to guide the boat with one oar until she carves herself a new one.
And we are wise to contemplate what our lives are about. What passions we are feeling. With what generosity and care are we helping row the boats within the collective we call family.
Keith and I would not have another bi-monthly calls as we had hoped.
However, because of what the death of my daughter had taught me, something else was about to open... And I will share that in my next newsletter.
Sending blessings of love and insight for you and your life!