Do you ever feel like this?

Dog in fire filled room, drinking coffee, saying "this is fine" gif

Yeah, me too.

Usually it feels like this when I start thinking about ALL THE THINGS I’m trying to do, all the things I’m responsible for, all the plates I’m spinning, and fires I’m putting out. 

I recently wrote a blog post about how I’m trying to shift my thinking on work/life balance. Basically, I’ve come to the conclusion that balance is a bunch of BS. And so, I’m trying to think about life as a series of natural, rhythmic ebbs and flows between different aspects of my life, rather than trying to balance all the spinning plates at once. 
Cat spinning plates
Following the ebbs and flows of life also necessitates a very intentional thinking about my planning for each day, each week, and each month. (When life allows for that kind of planning, that is.) Instead of trying to make progress on each major thing while holding it in perfect balance with everything else in my life, I try to refocus on this question:

“What areas in my life need my attention right now?” 

I don’t want to approach this question from a place of scarcity though. Feeling like there's not enough of me to go around creates that frantic, panicked place where I end up reacting rather than responding to the world around me.

Instead, I want the question to create space for an honest appraisal that encompasses my WHOLE life, rather than JUST my to do list. This question forces me to integrate my physical and mental health, self-care, my family’s needs, my business, house maintenance, fertility, fun with friends, and everything in between. It forces me to evaluate the whole picture, and think critically about which things need my attention right now, and which things can wait. 

It’s embracing the reality that I can’t do it all, all the time, and THAT’S OKAY. But it also insists on a steady progress - doing the next right thing for me and my life. 

Instead of feeling like the whole house is burning down, this question helps me prioritize which fires are most important to address. It helps me know when to ask friends and family to bring over some fire extinguishers to put out a few fires with me. And it makes me confront some areas of my life that I've been clinging to too fiercely, for too long, and instead of trying to fight the flames, I step back and watch them burn. 

Because sometimes you need to let things burn down in order to rebuild something better. 

...Well that got a little more intense and fiery than I maybe intended...heh...
Daria with fire reflecting in her glasses
But the point remains, that it’s a constant ebb and flow, and the sooner I get practiced at navigating that, and prioritizing when and where I can put my attention from day to day, week to week, month to month, the better I’ll be able to weather some of the harder stuff I’m sure is coming my way. 

But to answer the question practically and honestly, right now the things that most need my attention are:
  • My business - but not at the expense of everything else. Any progress is progress, even if it’s not on my Type-A desired timescale. 
  • My health - mental and physical. I’m stronger than I’ve been in a long time, but it’s a quick and easy trip to the bottom of the pit again if I don’t keep making good choices here.
  • My fertility journey - making decisions about what I will and won’t do to my body for the chance at the desired outcome of holding a baby in my arms is hard, reflective, painful work. But it’s work I need to do.
Those areas of attention might all change tomorrow. There might be new things that demand my attention. 

And you know what? That’s okay with me too. It has to be. 

What about you? What areas of your life need your attention right now? What can you ask for help to conquer? And what can you watch burn to the ground for the sake of discovering something new? 

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on these questions - via email, online using #HonestlySeries, or by hiring a skywriter...I'm not the boss of you! ;) 

I hope March is treating you well, wherever your life is taking you. 

Honestly yours,

Honestly Series!

As always, you can check out my website for more details, but this month I put out a new video all about the practicalities of crisis and assembling a team of people to help you through, and a new blog post entitled: Balance is BS.

More on Honestly series

Books and media I’m loving now

I thought I’d put in a new section of the newsletter highlight some of the books and media that I’m loving right now, in case you’re curious what things make my heart go pitter-patter these days.

Shameless: A Sexual Reformation

Author: Nadia Bolz-Weber

If you want to challenge some of your cultural and religious notions around sex and its role in relationships, society and the Christian church, this book for you. It was thought-provoking, enlightening, and I found myself nodding my head and pumping my fists emphatically several times while reading this book. Get it HERE.

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