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"It's not enough to have lived.
We should be determined to live for something."
— WINSTON S. CHURCHILL
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ROY AND I ENJOYING A WALK
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It has been a trying year, no matter how you look at it. The current challenging uncertainty of life has caused me to think more introspectively.
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In a recent conversation with Lucy, we talked about the concept of “beyond your career, what is your work in the world?” We pondered the idea of dharma: what you are meant to do, or why you are here. Your “meaningful purpose” is what I like to call it.
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WEARING A TIARA FOR PATRICK
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Dharma is a concept that gives me a great deal of comfort. It helps answer the questions what makes you uniquely you? and what special gift do you have to give? I believe that each of us has a special gift for the world. It doesn't mean that you need to cure cancer—but it may mean that you drive your friend to chemo.
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This week we ponder the idea of dharma and what it means, with the hope that each of us will look at our lives a bit beyond the now to consider this question: why am I here?
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My experience has been that my answer changes over time. When my kids were little, it was to be their mother. There wasn’t a job in the world I wanted more or held more dear.
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NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH MY MOM
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Because my mother’s dharma, I think, was very much the same, it was easy to give the kind of love she gave: that overarching, huge love, the “I love you from the bottom of my heart” kind of huge love.
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MY MOM LOVED BRINGING JOY THROUGH MUSIC
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My mother’s dharma shifted when my sisters and I left the house, and she spent more time bringing joy to others through music with her band.
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What I realize now is that because my mom’s life was so powered by her dharma around music and mothering, her passion for those things spilled over into my life and my kids' lives and has infused our journeys with music, love, and laughter, even in her absence.
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YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE (MY MOM AND LUCY)
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Many would consider it an extreme honor to be present with someone they love as they transition from this life to the next. When I was in my 30s, I sat by my grandmother’s bedside. I knew that she was dying, and I went to stay for a few days.
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I ADORED MY GRANDMA CASEY
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You might find this unimaginable, but I actually said to her, “I am here because I love you and I want to be here for you. I am leaving Thursday at noon. If you want me to be here when you cross over and that timing is right for you, it would be my honor to bear witness to this. And if the timing works another way, I'll know it was for your greatest good.” As it turned out, the timing worked well for her, because she took her last breath one minute before I was scheduled to leave.
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My dharma was also to help my mother with her transition, to not be afraid of the moment, and to meet it with complete presence. Losing my mother birthed me into a world that of course I wasn't ready for. But the blessing that has emerged from my personal loss is that, having made it through that very, very tough transition...
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PATRICK BECAME A MUSIC PRODUCER
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I feel a sense of dharma in being there for people in their grief, simply to see them, and to bear witness. I am able to say, “You will get through it--I know you will. Your life will be different, and you will bring your person along. It’s okay to fall apart. In fact, it may be the only way home.”
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MY MOM SHARING MUSIC WITH THE NEIGHBORHOOD ON THE 4th OF JULY
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My dharma is to be there for people in their time of grief, to listen to them from the deepest place in my soul, and to let them know that they’re going to get through losing their mother.
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LUCY AND PATRICK STILL FIND JOY IN MUSIC
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Each of us has a way of making a living, but then beyond that, we potentially each have a calling on a deeper level—our meaning, our purpose in the world. I believe each person needs to lean into the exploration of finding out what it is. Examining your life to find your dharma actually makes the journey more fun and more fulfilling. When you’re living your dharma, it creates a ripple effect that impacts those around you and ultimately helps make the world a better place.
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You are going to love this issue! After a hiatus due to covid, our Table Talks podcast is back! Plus, this week we hear about dharma from a mother, a baker, a storyteller, two nocrumbsleft team members, and two journalists. But first, the podcast!
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SEASON 3 EPISODE 1
I LOVE LUCY
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We're kicking off Season 3 of Table Talks with Teri and Lucy chatting about building a collective vibe, how scary it is to be who you are, and how to rebuild when the previous form no longer works. Things have changed, but one thing that's the same: they still make each other cry.
Join in, listen and share with your friends.
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THE WINNING INGREDIENT OF GOOD WRITING?
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Long before I was paid to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), I wrote stories for fun as a child. Entries in my journal. Articles in school newspapers and yearbooks. Words have long been my refuge and my recreation, a place to seek solace and adventure. Storytelling is my unique gift, what the kids now call a “superpower.” But in order to tell a story worthy of superpower cred, I first must listen well well (as they say in Nigeria). Storytelling, interviewing, and engaging in rich conversation all center around one’s unique ability to listen. I know I was put on this earth to write, but I’ve come to realize that I was also put on this earth to listen empathetically.
Lola Ogunnaike, Journalist
@lolaogunnaike
Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, and GQ. Click here for more about her current campaign with Olay and People Magazine.
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My dharma is simple. I am proud to say that my life’s work is to be a mother. When I was little, my friends called me the Mother Hen--that was my nickname. My nature has always been motherly, and my heart was always there for the less fortunate or for anyone who needed love. I am the second youngest out of eight siblings, and they often look to me for motherly advice, guidance, and love. I take pride in my purpose, and I strive to be the best selfless, loving, teaching mother I can be. Such a blessing it is.
April Riordan
@xaprilrioramx
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GIVING BACK THROUGH BAKING
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My dharma is to nourish the community and enrich my neighbors’ lives through the art of baking bread. I created Small State Provisions, my micro-bakery, in my home, and giving back to the community is its key mission. Bread brings people together; in fact, it has been a foundation of civilizations for thousands of years. The art of baking naturally leavened, organic bread gives me purpose in life.
Although I cannot ship the product, loaves are available to donate, and I will happily accept orders from out of state. Just select "pick up" at check out.
Kevin Masse, Founder and Owner, Small State Provisions
@SmallState
SmallStateProvisions.com
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This is a question that plagues me every time someone asks, because the truth is, I have 100 jobs. They vary week to week. I’m an author, consultant, speaker, life coach, and 100 other things. One day this phrase came tumbling out of my mouth: “I’m a Hope Dealer.” And it stuck. I feel uniquely called to spread hope every single second of my life. Spread hope. Does that mean I avoid hard convos? Of course not. But I wrap them in hope. Join me? Hope. Is. Alive.
Carlos Whittaker, Hope Dealer
@loswhit
enterwild.com
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The art of telling stories has shown up in different ways over my professional career: as marketing campaigns for recording artists, crafting strategy for companies, advising public figures, and building narratives as a researcher, journalist, and writer. Over the years I’ve been told that I’m meant to be a teacher of some kind. But now, as our country and world sit at political, social, and ideological crossroads, my storytelling itself teaches, whether it offers different perspectives in accessible ways or synthesizes and presents facts to combat half and untruths. I use my ability to translate and communicate with the goal of engaging, enlightening, and encouraging people to seek for themselves. I share. I teach. That’s my why.
Naima Cochrane, Music & Culture Journalist
@Naimagram
www.naimacochrane.com
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I love the idea of laughter as medicine, but to me, laughter is therapy. It is a healing art. As an improviser and comedic writer, I deal with hard things through my writing. Coping with being molested as a child seemed off-limits for comedy until I realized how much I needed it to help myself heal. I wrote a one-woman show about my experience, and initially, I was terrified that people wouldn’t enjoy a show centered around this topic. After my first performance, an audience member approached me and said, “That was the first time I was able to laugh about it.” That moment resonated deeply, and helping others on their own healing journeys through laughter became my purpose.
Molly Scullion, nocrumbsleft Shop Manager, Comedic Writer
@mollyscullion
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“Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I’m one of the lucky ones who counts this blessing as my own. You see, my “job” is giving hugs. Of course a hug is a sign of affection, but hugs also communicate gratitude, encouragement, consolation, empathy, and protection. An embrace both delivers and receives emotion and is so important to the human experience. Zooms and FaceTimes offer virtual alternatives when we’re homebound, but a screen is no substitute for the connection, communication, and spirit lift that a hug offers. Be safe, but as soon as you can, go squeeze someone.
Zach Sherman, nocrumbsleft Director of Operations, Professional Hugger
@zach_attack_chicago
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STEAK SALAD WITH SPICY POBLANO MAGIC ELIXIR
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I'm a gal who loves a steak and an entreé salad. Finish it off with this Spicy Poblano Dressing, and you have perfection. Click here for the recipe.
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Time to start holiday shopping! We are excited to announce our new “gift ideas” tab on the website. It offers categories including The Avid Cook, The Everyday Cook, The Entertainer, and The Mom to help inspire you.
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LAST CHANCE TO ENTER
THE MADE IN KNIFE SET GIVEAWAY!
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We are giving away Made In Knife Sets to three nocrumbsleft blog subscribers. Each set includes The Chef's Knife, The Santoku Knife, The Utility Knife and The Paring Knife. To enter, click to the post and be sure to like it. Then leave a comment letting us know you are entering. You must be following nocrumbsleft and Made In to be eligible. Good Luck!
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Amelia and I were thrilled to see the book at our local bookstore here in Malaysia! Cocoa Salmon is our current favorite.
Meredith Tomkovitch, Expat Mom
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
@merestarks
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If you want to be featured here with the cookbook, DM Teri and let her know.
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I celebrate the idea of magic in every form, and this is one of the symbols that always feels lucky. I'm delighted to share it with you! You can find it imprinted on some of the nocrumbsleft pottery.
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