My latest release is a cover of a song by Sufjan Stevens, called the "The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us." It is a tribute to my childhood fantasies, the place where I felt safe enough to explore queer love. I am taken back to a childhood Summer I never experienced but still remember, nostalgic for that tender, reciprocal affection shared with a boy. And I remember the joy and terror of discovering those overwhelming feelings for the first time, and I remember the sadness I felt when it went away. Sometimes, that child-like love comes back into my life and sometimes I am left with just my fantasies, waiting patiently for it to arrive again.
For many of us, that exploration of innocence is short-lived or nonexistent. But I do believe that we can reconnect with it. And I believe, too, that in those early fantasies, we were closer to our authentic selves or at least the seeds of our authentic selves. The consequences of not being uncompromisingly true to ourselves, giving to our true selves and aligning with the values of our child selves, are dire.