I found myself doing it again. With a slump of my shoulders and a big sigh, there I sat, gazing at someone else’s social media post with the most ridiculous thought, “I wish my (blank) was like her (blank).”
Why do I do that? And before I start beating myself up about something else, I think we all do this, don’t we? We compare ourselves to someone else and somehow what’s good about that person translates into what’s bad about us.
Let me give you another example. I’m 6’1” and all my life when someone said, “You’re so tall!” I heard, “You’re so gawky” or “You’re a freak” or “You don’t look like the rest of us.” One day Kim and I were at an event and someone was up one side of me and down the other with the, “She’s not even wearing heels!” and the, “You must have played basketball” comments.
We left and I had a little rant in the parking lot with feet stamping and curse words. Kim was shocked. Not about the curse words because she’s heard me do that before, but she couldn’t believe the way those comments about my height made me feel. She said, “Don’t you realize they’re really saying, ‘You’re beautiful, I wish I had your height.’” I never thought of it that way. But it sure changes everything doesn’t it?
What’s that story? There was a man with a negative dog on one shoulder and a positive dog on the other and he went to a wise man saying he didn’t know what to do because the dogs fight all the time. The wise man said, “It’s simple. Feed the positive dog. Don’t feed the negative one.” Great advice!!
I’m trying it. I decided my negative dog isn’t getting one more morsel out of me no matter how much he drools and snarls. And you know what? The more I do it, the easier it’s getting.
Now when someone says, “You’re so tall!” I just say, “Yeah, I am.” End of story. No self-pummeling necessary. And that’s something I can pat myself on the back about!