Terror is setting your 20-year-old daughter up in her own apartment. She’s a great kid and in the course of two wild weeks this summer, she got accepted into a fantastic program at a different college, decided to transfer and we had to figure out where she’d live.
When it became apparent after much detail wrangling that she would be in an apartment, I found myself blurting out via text or following her around the house delivering the vitals of living on your own: “Don’t put dishwashing liquid in the dishwasher,” I’d say or, “You can’t refreeze something that’s already been frozen,” but my favorite was, “Please ALWAYS lock your doors!” And now she’s there and I’m here. I’m trying not to think about the dishwasher overflowing, the salmonella she’ll get after she refreezes something and I can’t even speak out loud what I’m afraid of if she doesn’t lock her doors. This is my baby for Heaven’s sake.
I remember her first day of Kindergarten, I made my poor husband follow the school bus until the driver actually got out at a stop and told him to go home. Like that first day of school, I know I have to step back and let her go. It’s just so hard. But it’s also exhilarating. I am honored to be a part of her zest for this fresh start. How many of those do you get in a lifetime? She’s taking on the world and even though the world scares the pants off me, I’m working on letting her fly and find her way on her own terms. And I’m realizing that while she works to find herself in this world, I am too! Who am I now that I only have one child at home?
My authenticity is on my mind. See you at Camp Connect to talk more!