|Am I still enough?
I have always valued relationships very highly. When I’m surrounded by people, I feel the most alive. And being alone has always been difficult for me. Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamt of getting married and having a family. To love and be loved. Feeling like I’m stuck in a never-ending season of singleness while having this intense longing for intimacy has been very hard. I will admit I have tried to force my will in this area many times rather than wait on the Lord, but He has been faithful even in my rebellion.
I moved out of my parent's house a year ago. Both my younger brothers have gotten married, one with a baby and one with a baby on the way. One of my closest friends is getting married next month. And while I’m extremely happy for each of them, my relationships with them have changed. All of my previously closest relationships are now distant. I am not their priority. I felt so alone. “God, how could you take my closest relationships away and not give me a husband to fill this empty void?” I was wrestling with this for a few days, when the Lord spoke to me through two different people, reminding me that his intimacy was enough to fill the emptiness in me.
“Am I still enough?”, I felt the Lord say. I realized I had come to terms with not yet being married, but I was finding my sense of wholeness and worth in my friendships and family. He showed me that all I need is him, and his presence alone can fill the void in my heart. Every other relationship is just an extra blessing, and it can not be where I place my identity. When it is all stripped away, is Jesus still enough? Is he your portion? Your reward? Where do you find your sense of worth? Your sense of wholeness and purpose? When we look to all the wrong places (whether sinful or good), to fill us, we come up short. Anything apart from Jesus will come up short.
Whether you’re struggling with loneliness or feeling unfulfilled, I hope this encourages you and challenges you to seek out what you’re longing for in his presence. In John 4:14 it says “But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
~Jazmin DesJardins, Curriculum Coordinator