Walk Forward
sleep-deprived confessions and delighting in Jesus
"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on..."
-Philippians 3:13-14
I have always loved sleep. My husband's relationship with sleep is difficult. He is a light sleeper and often struggles to fall asleep at night. But not me. Sleep and I have a good relationship. I sleep deeply - often within a minute or two of my head hitting the pillow. Sleep is my superpower...unless I have a new baby.
I have found very few things as stressful as the sleep deprival I went through after the birth of both our boys. There are few things I have begged for with more passion than that the Lord would help my baby to sleep. I have been super invested in sleep training, in sleep diapers, in rice cereal, in nap schedules. And when I have done everything in my power and the baby wakes up anyway because he has an ear infection or he's teething or he has some other mystery reason I'll never get to the bottom of, it. is. maddening.
This month, I felt the Lord gently prodding me to dig into why I was SO determined to get the good night's sleep that seemed ever out of reach. Beneath the determination, there was fear. And so the real question surfaced: Why does being really tired scare me so badly?...
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Updates
Thank you so much for praying for our family!
We've made it to December!! Man, are we thankful for the prayers and support and encouragement you guys have given. This last month has been a sweet one. The boys are doing well. Abishai has such a heart for Benaiah - it has been really precious to watch their relationship grow. He's also doing a great job responding to teaching and growing into a helper that notices the needs of other people. Our relationship and communication with each other is recovering, we're coping a little better with stress and feeling a little more settled. We are SO looking forward to another Christmas where we get to be close to our families!! What a gift!
Cody's plugging away at projects and repair jobs here at the Homes of Ethnos360. This month we've even had some extra help from the volunteers who come every year to lighten our staff's load.
Beka has been enjoying this time at home with the kids and having some awesome and encouraging times digging into the Word with other ladies during Bible Study and discipleship. Thanks for praying!
Benaiah's MRI got moved up to December 10th, and we have follow-ups with his neurologist and neurosurgeon on the 15th and 19th to discuss his results. We would really appreciate your continued prayer that his scans will show improvement and that he will not need surgery. That he has been able to compensate this long with just medication has SO exceeded our expectations and we are just in awe of our God for intervening for our little boy.
We'll keep you posted as we get a better idea of what he'll need. We're hopeful that we'll get the go-ahead to head back to aviation ministry in Papua New Guinea this summer and looking forward to rejoining our team there. But I (Beka) was so challenged by something Cody said this month: "Papua New Guinea and Aviation were never the point. I'm happy to go there and to do that, but the point was always just to love the Lord and do whatever He puts before us. We can do that here. We can do that anywhere."
Pray for us to tune into Him, moment by moment. To walk by His strength, in His grace. To thank Him and treasure Him and delight in Him. To trust Him for all we're worth.
"Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God."
-Hebrews 13:15
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love,
Cody, Beka, Abishai + Benaiah
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