The Lonely Road
Published: Nov 14, 2016, Glow in the Woods | Parents of lost babies and potential of all kinds: come to this site to share the technicolour, the vividness, the despair, the heart-broken-open, the compassion, having been through this mess - and see it reflected back at you, acknowledged and understood.
Dear Friends and Family,
I initially wanted to direct this letter to the world in a general sense. From my experience, I can tell you that in all these years, I have received more encouragement, empathy and support from strangers than I have from you, those close to me. So today I want to start by telling you a story…
One day the young woman found herself standing in front of a secluded road. She stumbled across it on a regular day much like today. She didn't know how she'd gotten there, nor where it would lead her. She knew she had to take it so slowly, reluctantly she trod forward. The sky was a dull grey above her, the clouds thick, dark and heavy; as if ready to burst and engulf her at any moment.
She walked alone down that road, her coat wrapped smugly around her. Her ponytail came loose, causing strands of hair to whisk in front of her face. Her boot toes kicked the dry earth as she moved forward slowly. Suddenly, tears streamed down her cheeks. It could have been from the piercing wind that blew in her eyes, but somehow I knew those tears meant more. Seeing her that way made my heart feel heavy.
She looked up at the tall dark fir trees lining the road. So close together, too close, as if leaning on each other for sustenance. Their closeness almost mocked her as she made her way down the road—with no company, against the rampant winds, with a sky that threatened to deluge. The trees continued to sway, having their own deeply meaningful conversations oblivious to her presence.
Still, she moved forward, every step feeling so much heavier than the one she took before, every step into the unknown. There was no end to the walking. She walked until she stumbled, until sand covered her boots, until all she could see was a raging ocean before her. I watched her walk on until her feet drowned in the water, until she was covered up to her knees. I watched as the waves were too strong to hold her. The waves crashed and mounded into each other violently.
Only then did I understand that I couldn't save her. I was her.
The rain came at me and I stood soaking in my shoes. Every so often, it washed away the tears as it streamed down my face. There were gut-wrenching cries, engulfed by the howling of the wind. The trees swayed violently, concealing my way. The darkness blinded me, surrounded me. I sent pleas for an end; I reached out for something, anything, to steady me. Continue reading...