JOURNEYING WITH YOUR PARTNER
One of the things I found most difficult on the journey through pregnancy loss was how differently my husband and I dealt with it. I found it healing to talk about my emotions, but it was hard for him to communicate about the loss. Where I found freedom in processing the experience, it was more painful for him to speak or hear about it. Thankfully we met with both pastors and counselors who assured us that it is normal for men and women to have different ways of grieving. Neither of our ways were "right" or "wrong", they were just different. The more we gave each other space to mourn in the way that made sense to our own hearts, the more we were able to journey together in an understanding way instead of feeling alone and frustrated.
One of the best pieces of advice I received after our first loss, was that grief is a roller coaster with unpredictable highs and lows. It's ok to fall apart in the grocery store, and it's ok to have a good day and laugh with friends. When I was going through valleys, I found it helpful to journal my feelings, read others' stories of loss and hope or talk with girlfriends who had also experienced pregnancy loss. This helped me to not bottle my feelings up and feel heard. And it allowed me to connect with my husband when he was ready instead of forcing him to talk when the emotions were too raw for him.