High Dreams April 2016, Openness
Every one of us wants to be productive and display our contribution in the direction of a goal. During this process, feedback supports us by providing opportunities regarding our strengths and development areas. No matter how oriented to improvement, both the person giving and the person receiving feedback are under strain. This strain may be experienced while discussing subjects open to development besides evaluating them. What happens so that the feedback process whose contribution to learning and development we know very well puts us under such constrain?
According to the researcher Dr. Bréne Brown, the answer to this question lies in the vulnerability of the essence of the feedback process. It does not matter whether you are giving, receiving or requesting feedback. The process comprises uncertainty and therefore risk for all involved parties. This thus causes you to put on armors to protect yourself from vulnerability. Furthermore, training and experience on this subject do not eliminate vulnerability.
According to leadership thinker and coach Marshall Goldsmith, most of us have the tendency to receive feedback in compliance with how we see ourselves. We find it difficult to accept, or deny, other feedbacks. No matter how it is presented, we consider most of the feedbacks which virtually enhance development, personal.
Now, what enables us to remove and throw away our armors?
You can establish connection when you discuss the opportunities of overcoming challenges that are subject matter of change and development. In this safe area, you do not need to oppose each other. You are side by side and together. By asking questions to understand, by listening and offering support to the other person, you may hold her/him accountable regarding your expectations. Feedforward, containing suggestions offered by a positive approach, will show your trust in the other person. When you truly appreciate the effort and the intent by emphasizing the values and strengths that show up, you can touch the essence of the person and encourage her/him.
I wish this month you become role model for your expectation of openness and sensitivity from the others and feel the power of appreciation in your heart.

Be open with love.
Aylin Bozkurt Tüzmen
High Dreams suggests:

  “Encouragement renders people courageous and enables them to create the change they want.”                                                                                   Alfred ADLER

About Us:
Who is Aylin Bozkurt Tüzmen?
With 18 years of business experience that started in the finance sector as a management trainee in the multinational bank HSBC Bank and continued in the real sector as middle and top level finance manager in Istanbul and New York, I now serve as a Professional Certified Coach at High Dreams Coaching & Training Services specializing in leadership and team coaching, mentoring & supervision to coaches, and feedback. I also work on coaching and leadership development projects as a member of Adler International Learning Central Europe Executive Coach team. I hold International Coach Federation (ICF)’s PCC (Professional Certified Coach) and Adler International Learning Canada’s ACPC (Adler Certified Professional Coach) titles.

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